Scan for the Good Stuff

We were sitting in a wee room and I was listening to her tell me about her new boss. It was winter outside but the weather was gleaming and crisp. Her new boss was hard work, too slick, too efficient, too professional. Her old boss, on the other hand, was ace. Everything he had done was simply wonderful.

I enquired about her new boss.

“What does he do well?”

“What do you like about him?”

“In what ways could you connect?”

Her responses to these questions were interesting. Silence initially, with eyes up and to the left. Wondering.

Then she started to list some of the good stuff. All the things that she had ignored, overlooked or deleted about her new boss. The good things.

It’s funny, when you form a judgement, you scan for the evidence to reinforce that judgement. Sometimes, this can help. Other times it just creates distance, keeps you stuck and doesn’t serve you well.

She was stuck. But by scanning for some of the good stuff, her position loosened, the judgement changed and different possibilities emerged.